(e)mergent Voyageurs

It has been nearly 8 months since I first posted my “Homosexuality: A Personal Reflection” post. I was touched by all the encouragement and honesty people expressed as a result. It was a challenging time for me, but very rewarding in so many ways. However, not wanting the topic to become the central focus of my blog, I decided to put it aside for awhile.

However, a recent post by John Stackhouse entitled “Jesus, I’m NOT in Love with You” (ht: Bill Kinnon) brought something to mind. In the post, Stackhouse bemoans the increasing appearance of what he calls the “love songs to Jesus” genre of worship. In a largely fair critique, he points out that to say that we are “in love” with Jesus is an inappropriate expression of worship for any Christian. Jesus, he reminds us, “is not your boyfriend, not your fiancé, and not your eventual husband”. (On a side note, I think that Stackhouse misses the point a little on this one, not placing enough emphasis on the part individualism and poor concepts of romance play in this problem. He also underplays the significance of Christ as bridegroom to be fair).

It was when he said “…it gives me the homoerotic creeps to declare that I am ‘in love with’ another man” that I feel he crossed the line. That he would make such an insensitive and irresponsible comment surprised me a great deal. If he has an issue with saying he is “in love with’ another man, that is his right. However, to say it gives him the “homoerotic creeps” shows no consideration to those of us who live with homosexual orientation every day. Further, if he real experiences homoerotic creeps, that is an issue of his own he needs to deal with, regardless of how legitimate his point might be. He finishes the sentence with “And I don’t apologize for saying so”, which seems to suggest to me that he considered how some might take this comment, but still felt it appropriate to say it.

Let me be clear. I have a great deal of respect for John Stackhouse. I think he is responding to a real issue in this post. It is not my intention to single him out. Rather, I think the fact that this came from someone as widely respected as him, can help us see how easily and thoughtlessly we can casually or inappropriately reference homosexuality. Whether we are trying to be emphatic or deliberately shocking, given the current experience of most homosexuals with Christianity, this is something that we all need to stop doing.

Am I being over-sensitive? Let me know what you think.

It has been just over two months since I stepped out and shared my personal experience with homosexual orientation (see my post “Homosexuality: A Personal Reflection”). As you might imagine, it was nearly a year of processing and wrestling over this decision before taking the step. You might be surprised, however, on the main cause of my hesitation.

One of my central concerns in sharing my personal experience and position on the issue of homosexuality and Christianity was how it would be perceived by those in the GLBT community. Further, I was concerned it might be used as ammunition by Christians who treat this issue with a violent and often casual bigotry. For the most part, I have been pleasantly surprised at the positive response, even helping several people find the confidence to come to terms with their sexual orientation rather than hide or ignore it.

However, last Thursday a new blog was launched called “Bad Fruit/ Bad Trees: Admonishing Those Who Preach Homophobia”. The site describes itself as follows:

“Conservative Christians go on and on and on about the alleged sinfullness of homosexuality, or homosexual lovemaking. But while same-sex coupling does not destroy lives or faith, the bias against homosexuality spawns hate crimes, discrimination, abuse, lies, and division and discord. It is long past time to call those who malign and revile homosexuals to repent of their sins against real human beings. That is what this space is about.”

In its inaugural post, “Sin of Arrogance”, a previous post of mine, “Homosexuality & the Church – Part 1″, was mentioned. It was cited in respect to the trend within Conservative Christianity to dismiss any other perspective but their own. It says:

“When challenged by evidence from the lives of GLBTQ people, or by challenges to the theology behind the condemnation, these authors consistently responded within the premise that their belief (homosexuality is condemned in the Bible) is unquestionably correct. These authors practice for themselves an intrinsic superiority – what they believe is automatically correct, they cannot be wrong, anyone who disagrees with them cannot be correct. The effort to even consider that their interpretation could be in error is simply not made.”

While it suggests that my post poses genuine challenges to these assumptions, he goes on to say that my subsequent posts dehumanize the GLBT community. My heart was crushed by this statement. Obviously, the author and I do not see eye to eye on this issue, but I am not sure the assessment is fair. I want to try and respond as best I can. However, I must first make a few things clear.

By and large, I believe the author is quite accurate it their portrayal of a large portion of the Conservative/Evangelical Christian community in its treatment of this issue and those people involved. For centuries homosexuals have suffered devastating and inhumane treatment- tortured, murdered, mocked, denied rights, etc., often at the hands of and/or with the blessing of the Christian establishment. While much has improved, too many Christians still arrogantly boast of their own moral superiority by using this issue, framed in the shallow simplicity of “black and white” language, as a way of proving their “righteousness” (and thus avoiding the deeper, far more pervasive culpability in other failings).

Further, talk about the so called “Homosexual Agenda” must stop. Portraying the work of the GLBT community to secure basic human rights and freedoms as a dark and secretive conspiracy aiming to undermine society is alarmist and offensive. Even if you do not agree with their purposes, to frame their efforts in such terms is propoganda that is patently false, manipulating people to believing dangerous untruths about the homosexual community to gain greater support for their efforts to stop this “agenda”. This technique has been used in the past (and sadly, still is in places) to perpetuate the evil system of racial segregation. As Christians we can have nothing to do with this kind of thing.

That being said, I struggled reading the post in question. While I agree with much of their critique of the typical Conservative Christian response to homosexuality, it does not allow any room for genuine dialogue. It argues that Conservatives are not willing to even consider that their position might be wrong, but I see no such willingness from the author of this post to do the same. The article uses words like “proof” and “evidence” that give more definitive authority to ideas and circumstances that are not so clear cut.

Given the history of Christian failure in our treatment of homosexuals and the current caustic atmosphere surrounding these issues, genuine and humble dialogue is desperately needed. While I convinced that, on both the merits of what our beliefs require of us and on our failings on this issue, Christians must take the lions share of responsibility in this process, it has to be a mutual commitment. For many of the Christians who believe that homosexuality is inconsistant with Christianity, it is not rooted in bigotry, fear or arrogance. Many struggle holding this belief, but in the context of their presuppositions about faith and truth cannot simply dismiss it. If this is not acknowledged by people, such as the other of the post in question, any chance for restoration or change is deadlocked.

As the blog does not provide contact information and because it is closed to outside comments, I have not been able to discuss this with the author. My hope is that they will see this post and be willing to engage in conversation. This what we all need to attempt to do. It will be risky, with both sides being very cautious, mistrusting and sensitive. However, it only in the journey through the Cross that Resurrection is possible.

So where do we start? How do bridge this very difficult gap?

Emerging Church, Missional, Homosexuality

This is my third post on the topic of homosexuality this week- the first sharing my personal experience with it and the second discussing a need for a new response from the church. This will likely be my final post on this topic, at least for awhile, as I do not want it to be the subject that defines me. However, I felt this final post was a necessary conclusion to some of the thoughts I have shared about the topic.

Throughout the many comments and emails I have received since my first post on Monday, one of the questions/comments that is consistently emerging is about what Scripture has to say about the topic. There are many within the emerging church conversation who are beginning to look more critically at the traditional interpretations of these Scriptures. This has resulted in an important and necessary penitence and grace to those who are impacted by this issue. Some (though I suspect far fewer than our critics would like to believe) have decided that Scripture does not clearly say that homosexuality is inconsistent with Christianity.

This is an understandable trend, given that many “Biblical” arguments against homosexuality that people cite are shallow, out of context or extremely ambiguous. One obvious example is the use of Sodom & Gomorrah’s destruction as evidence of God’s stance against homosexuality, rather than seeing it as an example of unbridled hedonism finding expression in orgy. Even the Romans 1 reference could be argued to be condemning homosexual lust in the same way as heterosexual lust is wrong.

Now, if you are about to head down to the comments to argue about these points, don’t bother. It is not my point to argue the Biblical texts. The text themselves are rarely at issue in debates, but rather the underlying presuppositions each party brings to the argument. My point, rather, is that while containing some fairly clear admonishons against homosexuality, Scripture often make such statements that we dismiss today as contextually inapplicable. Therefore, we cannot just throw Scripture at the issue as though it closes the matter.

My own position, believing that homosexuality is inconsistent with my faith (a belief I hold with no small amount of uncertainty), is not a product of absolute certainty as to what Scripture has to say on the issue. Rather, I also look to history and tradition to shape my understanding. While imperfect in their own way, they are important guides for us to consider.

Many people, commenting on this ambiguity, decide that they cannot with confidence state that homosexuality is wrong. I understand this. After all, it was not long ago that slavery was justified using Scripture by people who were genuinely attempting to be faithful to God and His Word. And yet, it is in this same example that we must make note, especially those who reject traditional beliefs on homosexuality on the basis of Scriptural uncertainty. There are far clearer references in Scripture in regards to homosexuality than there are about slavery, and yet I have yet to meet a Christian how would use this ambiguity to defend slavery as consistant with the faith.

This stands as a word of caution to people who stand on both side of issue. It neither argues for or against either position, but requires a chastened certainty and a call to faith from all. Again, thank you all for your encouragement and prayer.

Emerging Church, Missional, Homosexuality

When I posted the personal “Homosexuality: A Personal Reflection” on Monday, I could not have anticipated the wave of support, encouragement and honesty that would follow in the comments and emails. Thank you all so much for making this such a positive step for me to make. I know it has been difficult for some, especially those who know and love me and don’t want me to suffer anything for it. I want to honour them for standing behind me in spite of these concerns.

Without taking away from the wonderful responses I received, in a post where I share something so very personal, the majority of the responses were thanking me and encouraging me for my honesty and vulnerability. As a result (and understandably), the comments did not get to involved in engaging the finer details of the issue. So, while I don’t want this to become the over riding theme of my blog, I thought it might be helpful to flesh this out a bit.

I want to start by saying that sexual orientation is an incredibly complex area that cannot be easily narrowed to formulaic understandings. Therefore, while my experience might mirror or parallel that others, as there are underlying similarities for people who experience this reality, every individual comes to it differently. Therefore, while I can help to give general understanding, I cannot and will not speak for everyone who live with same-sex attraction. That being said, many of you commented or emailed sharing that one of the biggest challenges you face is simply an inability to understand. In fairness, how could someone understand something so foreign to them. So I hope I can give you glimpse into this sphere.

Even saying that people “come to it” reveals my belief that, at least for some, it is a reality people arrive at as a result of something. I am not going to go so far as to say this is true of all cases, as that would be arrogant and presumptious of me. However, I do believe that, for many people, it is a resulting reality due to some spiritual/emotional/etc dynamic, albeit very diffent dynamics for different people. But I am getting off track.

One of the areas I wanted to address was brought up by my friend Stuart in the comment section. He shared his frustration with the hostility he has experienced from the homosexuality community as he has attempted to reach out to them. This is a common experience for many Christians and something that really needs to be addressed.

We must first start by trying to understand the perspective of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered (GLBT) community in respect to the church. For far too long we have treated them with utter contempt, ignorance and even hatred for centuries, all the while justifying our stance in the name if Jesus. They can no more dissociate from that history than we can from the responsibility we have in making things right. To dismiss that as the mistake of others is to ignore the systemic connection between our current religious cultures, freedoms and presuppositions and those who have gone before us in the church.

When we recognize this, it is not hard to understand why we are so often met with such anamosity. while this does not excuse their mistakes or excesses, we add insult to injury by using their emotional response as justification for further mistreatment or abandonment of missional outreach. These are, in part, the fruit of the seeds we have planted as the church, and therefore realities in reaching out to the GLBT community that we will have to learn to work through.

What will it take to genuinely connect with these people? For one, we will have to learn that starting on the premise of the moral and Biblical indictment of homosexuality (which is often our default position, for fear we might compromise) is a useless and ignorant foundation. I am not suggesting that we turn a blind eye to sin, but rather that we recogize the dual mutuality we share with them- first and foremost, that we are all made in the image of God, which comes with the respect that is thus due; second, that we are all sinners, in need of Christ’s grace.

This will likely mean that we will need to intentionally create space for relationship that begins, at least at first, with a commitment to understand, which includes a commitment not to attempt to use it for conversion, debate, etc. Will we stand the risk of give the wrong impression about where we stand on the issue? I doubt it, but even if we do, who cares? Jesus didn’t seem to concern Himself with the gossip-mongering moralizers who questioned the company He kept, so why should we? That said, we will have to be willing to face the judgment of our fellow Christians as an inevitability.

What suggestions do you have on how we can move forward? Tangibly, what must the church do to owns our part, not only in our failure towards the GLBT community, but in our responsibility to move towards reconciliation, relationship and love?

I hope to do another post in the near future about the issue of my response to the Scriptures surrounding homosexuality.

Emerging Church, Missional, Homosexuality

When the Ted Haggard controversy hit the blogosphere, some people asked me why I hadn’t posted on the topic. From my previous posts on homosexuality, it was clear I had thought about the topic and had some opinions (see those posts in three parts: 1, 2 and 3). Besides the fact that Haggard, his family and his church had been through enough public scrutiny, I had other reasons for holding back. When I read Brian McLaren’s posts on homosexuality over at Christianity Today’s “Out Of Ur” blog, I had a similar sense that I was not prepared to weigh in.

However, having begun to write my next book, I have spent some time working on a chapter on sexuality. As you might expect, given the topic and the culture we live in, the issue of homosexuality and the churches response to it jumped to the forefront. The book, intentionally drawing from my own spiritual journey, confronted me with a very difficult challenge: What should I share on such a controversial and sensitive topic?

Here’s the thing. During high school, I became aware that my sexual orientation was not the same as the other guys I knew. Where they would joke about being disgusted by the very idea of each other naked, I didn’t share that response (though I would pretend I did). When they would get distracted by the maturing figures of our female classmates, I would be drawn to the athlete forms of the guys. Before long I was confronted with the reality that I was different. While I had never acted on it, by my orientation, I realized, “I’m gay”.

That terrifying revelation came crashing down on me like the weight of the world. Here I was, a scrawny teenage boy who hated sports and loved poetry, part of a traditional Evangelical church in a rural community filled with farmers, hunters and hockey players. Needless to say, at the best of times, this is not an easy thing to come to terms with, let alone in such circumstances. It has been a tough journey since that day (one which you can read in more detail about when the book comes out), but as you can see, this by no means theoretical or abstractional.

As most of you know, I am happily married to a beautiful Aussie girl. So, was it a passing phase, common to adolescent sexual development? No. Did God heal me, freeing me forever of the homosexual attractions? No. The fact is that my sexual orientation, while obviously having a healthy attraction for women, is still also drawn to the same sex. It is a daily reality that I live and wrestle with.

Beyond the struggle with the attraction, I also wrestle with the theological realities of this issue. Don’t get me wrong, it is not that I am questioning the theology for personal reasons- I am very much in love with my wife, have a healthy sex life and have no desire to embrace a different sexuality. Rather, it is not an uncommon occurrence in Christian history that our moral and theological confidence is more a reflection of cultural prejudices than Biblical exegesis (i.e. slavery, women in ministry, etc.).

While he took a great deal of heat on the issue, I can understand and appreciate Brian McLaren’s hesitancy to make sweeping, public statements on homosexuality. His pastoral sensitivity, combined with his uncertainty on traditional interpretations of Scripture, cause him to pause in make a stand on the issue (this is my take on his position, so don’t quote me on this). In many ways, though I understand some of what the critics say, I appreciate McLaren’s stance.

Unfortunately, I do not have that freedom. To maintain an open mind and heart on the issue of homosexuality had (and has) deep rooted implications for me. In order to move forward with my life, I had to decide which course to take and, for me, that meant deciding what I believe about the issue. Does this mean I have no uncertainty or confusion about it? Of course not. I am not sure I will ever truly be sure this side of heaven. However, I believe that practicing homosexuality is inconsistent with Christianity.

Please understand that it pains me deeply to make such a bold, sweeping statement. After all, wouldn’t be easier and smarter of me to simply say that “for me its wrong”? Isn’t enough to say that while I believe it is a choice I cannot make, I will not state it as a universal? Sure, it is only my conviction of what is true, and yes, I can be, have been and will be wrong in many aspects of life and faith. Yet, by stating it in such relative terms, while attempting to reflect a chastened certainty, I leave myself and others in a torturous position. Besides, if I say it is only true for myself, am I not suggesting that it is a matter of personal choice, one I could have made as equally in the other direction?

Let me be clear here: I did not marry my wife because I had to come to terms with my beliefs about homosexuality. I married her because I love her, I am attracted to her and, should I decide today that I was wrong about this issue, it would not change for a minute my confidence that I am forever with the person I love more than anyone in the world.

That being said, I also believe,and with far more conviction, that the church has failed miserably in our treatment of this issue and more specifically (and tragically) our treatment of the people who are homosexual, by orientation and/or by practice. Not everyone knows this about me, but not because I am ashamed or afraid to tell people. Rather, it is far easier than dealing with the awkwardness, ignorance and judgment that is far too common when people learn about it. To even writing this is a major step out in vulnerability.

My hope in writing this is that in some small way, by sharing my story, Christians will begin to engage this issue with a sensitivity that this is a real issue that effects real people very personally. This is true for those who very publicly attack homosexuality as wrong, but lose sight of the fragile and precious people for whom this is a daily reality. It is equally true for those who seek to be cautious about making moralizing judgments or absolute statements, but can add terrible uncertainty for those who are desperate to understand what to believe and what to do.

The fact is that this is anything but an easy blog post to write. I can think of dozens of reasons not to post it, both because of the personal risk of being so vulnerable and for the potential hurt I could cause others by the stance I take. I decided to post it, in the end, because this is not an issue that will ever be engaged painlessly or comfortably, regardless of the belief(s) you embrace about it. That being said, as I post about last week, it is as much about how you believe than what you believe.

As always, I am not shy about questions, nor will you (likely) hurt my feelings, so weigh in and let me know what you think. Where do we go from here? What must the church do to begin to repair the damage we have done in the name of Christ while not compromising our convictions and beliefs? Have at it!

Emerging Church, Missional, Homosexuality