(e)mergent Voyageurs

When I was in high school, there was a science room off our classroom, one of those danky dark holes with shelves covered with dusty specimen jars of ancient pig fetuses.  At any rate, it was in a basement classroom and it had no windows, so if you closed to door from the inside with the light off, it was as cloe to absolute darkness you could achieve.  Being in a very small school in a very small town, we used to enjoy the sensory deprivation experience just for kicks.

On one suck well wasted moment, something occurred to me.  We had recently been studying the science of light and its relationship to colour.  Colour, we learned, is the perception of the frequency (or wavelength) of light.  So I asked:

“Is my shirt red?”

After a moment of silence, where I am sure my friends were considering my lose of sanity in this cool purgatory, they all responded that my shirt, was indeed red.  It had been red when we came in, so unless I changed my shirt in the dark (a prospect not too well received by the girls in the room), it was, of course, still red.  However, I disagreed.

“No, it can’t be red.  If colour is a perception of light, and there is no light here, how could it be red?”  Another moment of silence.

“But the shirt,” said a friend, “By its very nature, is designed to reflect light so that we perceive it as red.  Therefore, it is red by nature”  I imagined him smirking confidently at his own cleverness, but I wasn’t satisfied.

“You are talking about potential and perception,” I countered, “It doesn’t actually become red until there is light, even just a little bit of light.  Right now, here in the dark, it’s black.  My shirt is not red.”

“Whoa…”  We all soaked in this revelation in the cool, close darkness.  The conversation drifted from there (such the question if what you perceive as green is the same as I perceive as green, but that is another story altogether).

Recently, as I remembered this conversation, I got thinking about sin and its impact on humanity.  We were created in the image of God, but when we sinned, that image became cracked.  As I see it, sin cut us off from the light of God.  We were created to reflect the glory of God, but sin seperates us from His perfect light.  Now, the question, does it completely cut us off.  I think not.

I am not suggesting that are not in need of God’s grace and forgiveness.  Rather, I believe that, as all things are have their being in God, His light can never be completely cut off from us.  As move closer and closer to Him, he colours of His image, created in us, become clearer, sharper, richer, truer.  Until the day we see Him face to face, we see Him, reflect Him… well, like through a dim glass.

Regardless, we must never dminish God and His glory, by denying the intrinsic, intentional image of God created in all of us.  In the words of St. Maximus the Confessor:

We become by grace what God is by nature.

Nothing too profound, but it has been on my mind.

Emerging Church

Da Vinci Code

I feel empty.

I know I’m not.  I know that I am tired and overwhelmed.  I know that some of the circumstances that we are facing will be resolved and overcome.  I know that I am surrounded by people who love me, believe in me and will support me through anything.  I know that reality is not as bleak as it seems through my current emotional and spiritual perspective.

Still, I feel empty.

Do I lack faith?  Am I suffering as result of unconfessed sin?  Is it an attack by some malevolent, personified spirit?  Is it purely physical?  Psychological?  Am I just being a wimp?  Might I overcome it through just pushing through?  Am I just scared and lazy?

In the end, I know that I could improve things through a better lifestyle (especially where diet and exercise are concerned).  I know that disciplined sabbath rest is something I need to be more diligent about.  I know that many of the circumstances will be resolved, while also knowing that these are things of life.  I am working on each of these areas.  I see and believe in the hope they provide.

With all that said, I recognize that there are other factors at play here that I need to acknowledge and address.  I am suffering from depression.  To say this- to recognize that it is more than just tiredness or sadness- is very difficult for me.  I find myself bored and dissatisfied with the things that once made me passionate.  Paniced energy swings into exhaustion more frequently.  I find myself daydreaming about what I might have done differently or could do if only.  My eating and exercise habits reflect compulsive responses to the emotions.  Situations and people, who I once had boundless patience for, now stir frustration and resentment.

In discussing the matter with a friend who is a counsellor, he told me that I have classic symptoms of mid-life crisis.  I laughed, given that I only 29 years old.  He assured me it is not uncommon (which I later verified with my own research).  Call it what you will, it is a “dark night of the soul”.  I know that vocationally I need to make a significant shift- not leaving YWAM or Winnipeg, but from within.  I have suspected it might have to do with a pastoral calling or church planting, but even that is vague (and terrifying).

This comes during a time of serious stress in our lives, especially financially.  Further, we have had an opportunity present itself today that would require a great deal from us- a GREAT deal- but carries with it too much of the sense of God’s hand to dismiss it.  The last thing I want this to be is another example of Jamie feeling sorry for himself.  My good friend and neighbour, Harry Lehotsky, is dying of pancreatic cancer.  I should be full of life.  Compared with his reality, it sounds more like I am full of- well, you get the picture.

I don’t know what I am going to do to respond to this challenge, beyond what I have mentioned above.  However, I stand with confidence in God and His grace.

The Lord gives.  The Lord takes away.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Emerging Church

For any of you who have read my book (“Looking Forward: Facing The Future Of Christian Leadership”), you will be familiar with Pastor Harry Lehotsky, who tells some of his story in the Introduction. Harry is one of my heroes- an unapologetic inner city, New York city Baptist minister living and serving our Winnipeg neighbourhood for several years. He played a significant role in Kim & I deciding to plant out ministry where we did, including providing our first apartment as a married couple (which served as our YWAM office) and selling us our amazing mission house at price that was attainable to us.

In addition to being a pastor and urban activist/adocate, he is also a weekly columnist for the Winnipeg Sun. In the April 30th post of his “Inner City Diaries”, he bemoaned the terrible lack of funcationality of the Manitoba Health Care System, as he had been suffering from some serious pain. Tests were possibly going to be delayed until November. As a result of his column and pushing, he managed to get in earlier. And thank God he did.

I just learned that Harry has been diagnosed with an advance stage of pancreatic cancer. I have not heard the prognosis, but am familiar enough with this disease to know that it is one of the highest risk cancers. I ask that everyone take some time to pray for Harry and his family during the coming challenges they will inevitably face. Pray for healing and restoration.

Having just returned from Calgary where Kim & were attending the Youth With A Mission Western Canada Leadership Team (YWAM WCLT) meetings, I wanted to give some feedback to the emerging church discussion that was on the agenda. Again, many people who are familiar with YWAM in other regions might be surprised to realize that it would garner much attention, but several leaders within Western Canada are pushing for more intentional exploration and engagement with it, as it has already had deep impacts in our missional mandate.

Unfortunately, due to other unscheduled (though important) events, the time designated for the topic was cut by more than half. However, we had enough time to get people engaged enough to expose some interesting assumptions were the emerging church is concerned. Namely that many people have very misguided assumptions as to what the movement actually is. For example, while it certainly plays an influencing role, it is a common mistake to assume that the phenomenon is a generational issue. This came up more than once.

In response, I offered to make a “What Is The Emerging Church?” presentation at our next meeting in the Fall in Kelowna. However, as I have considered what I would present, then consider the common misconceptions, I realize how difficult it actually is to define. The truth is, the emerging church (or the church in the emerging culture) is an amorphous matrix of complex, overlapping influences, ideas, histories, etc. In the end, I hope to at least present a framework for them to engage the issue, with specific emphasis on YWAM’s place in the conversation & praxis. Some questions that came up that will also be worth exploring were: Is YWAM a church? (and What is church?) Can we engage the emerging dynamics of faith and remain faithful to our Foundational Values? Is our region (YWAM Western Canada) unique to the mission in the level of our interest and involvement with the conversation?

More to come…

Emerging Church

There will likely be some blog silence from me this week, as Kim & I will be in Calgary attending the Youth With A Mission Western Canada Leadership Team (YWAM WCLT) meetings. I am particularly excited about these meetings, as we have a significant portion of the agenda designated to examining the emerging culture and our response to it as a regional mission. YWAM Western Canada is generally quite open to this dialogue, with many of us engaging this missional frontier within our ministries already. Some are skeptical, but willing to explore. It promises to be a good time.

For those of you who are familiar with YWAM and are surprised that there is active exploration of the church in the emerging culture, I am not surprised. YWAM as an organization often takes on many of the cultural dynamics of the region of which it is a part. You are as likely, therefore, to find very postmodern expression of YWAM as you are to find mega-ministry centres, even some who would be concerned, even opposed to the emerging church. It is one of the more complex dynamics of our mission, with its fair share of headaches, but it is also ones its greatest strengths.

Keep us in your prayers as we travel this week and wrestle through some of the important challenges facing us as a region and a larger mission. If you would like more information about YWAM, check out these links:

Emerging Church

Lately I have been indulging in a very unhelpful and unhealthy passtime.  No, this isn’t an internet porn confession.  Rather, I have been frequent a few of the more… extreme emerging church “critics”.  I will not name them here, because I would as likely link to above mentioned internet porn.  Over stated?  In this case, no.  They are hateful and hurtful, and anything redemptive that one might discover in them is not worth the price one would have to pay to swallow their poison.

This is not to say there are not excellent critics out there.  In my own life, I have a large network of very honest, wise and humble friends who would not identify themselves are engaging or even interested in the church in this emerging culture.  There are many leaders within the established church who believe that the conversation/movement goes too far, but are willing to cautiously add guidance, temperance and discernment to this engaged within it.  We need them- I need them very much.

However, the critics we could perhaps learn the most from are those within this emerging community itself.  The value of affirming critics from within cannot be overstated, as who better knows the dynamics, intentions and convictions better than those who share them.  This should never exclude the other critiques from without, but if we can embrace the necessary humility and patience, we have a wealth of wisdom that could help us move towards maturity.

That is where I hope my future lies on this journey- to be an affirming critic from within the emerging culture.  I have been deeply moved and encouraged by all that I have discovered on the way.  I am thrilled by a exciting hope for what the future holds for the whole Body of Christ, in part because of the contributions of this young movement.  However, unless we are real about our own weaknesses, tendencies, biases, over-reactions, compromises, immaturities, limitaions and pride, we will become that which we seek to change- a narrow, misguided group of well-intentioned, but distracted Christians.

I ask myself if I am qualified to such a critic and, frankly, I don’t know.  One thing I do know is that I love God and I love His Church.  My life is deeply invested in the “established church”, and it deeply invested in mine.  It has laid the rich foundation upon which my faith has been built.  I want to do my part to serve God more faithfully every day.  I do not want to reject it, nor arrogantly point out its flaws.  I am a part of it.  There is only one Church, one Body, one Faith.  And that is a truth – an Absolute Truth that I will never reject.

Emerging Church

Since the launch of the Keep Kim In Canada Campaign, we have been blown away by the amazing generousity and support we have received from so many of you. However, we have also been receiving several emails asking for two thing. First, people want to know more background on the situation and our ministry. And second, people want an update on where we are at with the campaign. Let me try to answer both here.

As most of you know, my wife & I are the founders and Co-Directors of Youth With A Mission (YWAM) Urban Ministries Winnipeg. We were planted here by YWAM Vancouver several years ago, moving our home & ministry into the inner city community of Winnipeg’s West End. Over the last years of pioneering, we have also becoming increasingly involved in regional leadership within the mission, which has been a real blessing.

However, over the last couple of years, our regular financial support has dropped significantly, in large due to unavoidable financial challenges facing our donors. With the increased leadership responsibility within the mission, our expenses also increased, so this loss has hit us quite hard. It was while we were working to overcome this challenge that the Canadian goverment decided that it was time for Kim to apply for Permanent Residency, an expense of around $2000. Of course, when it rain, it pours. During the same week, we were hit with several unexpected expenses (such as two major appliances dying on the same day).

I asked for prayer from several networks, which I received in excess. An unexpected result was the creation of the Keep Kim In Canada Campaign, dedicated to help us raise the needed funds to keep my Aussie wife to get her Permanent Residency. We have been stunned and humbled by the response. In fact, since it started we have reached the half way mark! While we still need to face the other financial challenges and build a broader regular support team, this has come as a life saver for us. Thank you all for your willingness to stand behind us in our calling.

Should any of you want to receive regular updates of our ministry, please feel free to let me know. You can also check out our personal website for more information. Again, thank you so much for all you have done! We are truly blessed.