(e)mergent Voyageurs

This stage of my story has taken me the longest to write because it is the most important stage of life. Perhaps the current stage of ones life is always the most important. Be that as it may, it was the years following our departure from Vancouver that so much of my life seem to come together.

In the last few years in Vancouver, I had been in an undefined relationship with a beautiful Australian girl named Kim. I say undefined because, despite my attraction to and affection towards Kim, I did not commit to any relationship that could be called anything. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of commitment, that seemingly universal male “disorder”, as much as that I feared rejection. Subconsciously, I thought that if I could keep the relationship on the lip of commitment, I would never have to face the inevitable termination.

It was when Kim allowed me to read her journal, specifically entries pertaining to my cruel casuality towards her love for me, that everything changed. Instead of the hurt, frustration and anger that she had every right to feel and express, every line was filled with grace and love. It was in that moment I knew I would marry her- and I did, only six months later. It was the first of three weddings that spanned the globe (but that is another story).

Before the rush of the final wedding had died, we packed once again and moved to our first apartment in the inner city neighbourhood of Winnipeg‘s West End. It was from this tiny apartment that our ministry, YWAM Urban Ministries Winnipeg, was born. With our dining room able serving as our “office”, my wife had to serve the first meal she prepared for her mother-in-law on a coffee table. We all loved it.

The details of establishing our ministry, while interesting, are insignificant in the light of all that we learned through making this troubled, but beautiful neighbourhood our own. No longer were the realities of urban injustice simply a part of our job, but rather part of our lives. We could not pretend to be “professional do-gooders” bringing the answers, but rather fellow “broken Eikons” whose salvation was caught up together. With the help of an amazing local church, New Life Ministries, and their work through Lazarus Housing, we planted roots to make this community our very own.

The one hundred year old duplex had been abandon for several years following a fire started by some of the former tenants. Neighbours and police knew this building to one of the most notorious gang houses in our city, where some of the worst degradations of humanity found expression. With great care, hard work and a lot of prayer, the house was transformed into a home, where we live with our friends and co-labourers. This building, known to many as cursed, now is a centre of hope and promise of redemption.

After many years of hard work with only a very small team working with us, we are now a truly missional community, dedicated living Christ as authentically as we can. We have had the privilege of introducing hundreds of peoples to our neighbours and neighbourhood, planting new seeds of understanding and possibility for what can and should be. While we have connected in the community, this is the next stage where God is calling us into greater depth and commitment.

Through this, I have been going through a personal tranformation. After 11 years with YWAM, serving in such diverse roles, I felt as though God was drawing me into something new. It began last year with the fulfillment of a life long dream when my first book “Looking Forward: Facing the Future of Christian Leadership” went to print (having been written/editted in my early twenties). I couldn’t have been more excited.

So you can imagine my chagrin when, instead of sustained joy, I was soon plunged into periodic depression and disillusionment. After much prayer, suffering and soul searching, I realized that God was calling me to step out into that which He had specifically gifted me for and called me to. By far the most challenging year in my life, it has also been extremely rewarding as I make the (often costly) choices to move in this new direction. While still in the process of defining, it includes my passion to pursue Truth through writing, teaching and building community. The deep theme of pastoring has been a constant element emerging in this process. I am both excited and somewhat fearful of all that still lies ahead.

And so I chose the picture of the lone wolf for this post. In addition to being a beautiful photo, wolves are natures most powerful example of community, deeply informing First Nations spirituality. In this way, I feel like that lone wolf, individual with identity in community. The wolf is on the look out, looking away, looking forward. As am I.

As always, much more could be said here, including the devastation of losing our first child to a miscarraige & our inability to conceive again; including the unparalleled generousity and support of family & friend; including the continued financial struggles of living by faith in missions; including the incredible diversity of our neighbourhood, representing every continent; and even including the challenges of having neo-Nazi’s move onto the block. The fact is this: the journey is not only bigger than this space can contain, but continues every day.

It is out of our own stories that our true selves emerge. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Peace,
Jamie Arpin-Ricci